A Teenage Girl in Recovery
Not again! Were the words that passed through my lips as I woke and was trying to reconstruct the events from the night before. The overwhelming fear that paralysed me, as I was unable to get up and face my family. These feelings were familiar and had gotten more frequent over the last couple of years I had been drinking.
When I finally got up and promised not to drink that much again and was trying to apologise again, I knew that by the evening I would make it ok to have a drink and once that first drink was inside me I couldn’t stop drinking.
I needed help, the constant fear, misery and suicide thoughts were too much. I went to an A.A. meeting where I heard a message that it was possible for me to recover and not drink one day at a time. I asked the secretary for a sponsor. My sponsor said to me that I didn’t ever have to feel this way again. She gave me a list of suggestions which included reading the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous and praying for a sober day, then giving thanks for a sober day. I walked from the meeting and for the first time I felt hope.
I followed suggestions and through the guidance and the experience of my sponsor I worked through the twelve steps which are laid out in the Big Book. Through working these steps I have found a Higher Power in my life which will do for me what I cannot do for myself. I have had a change of thought and attitude and live a life which is beyond my wildest dreams. The amazing thing about Alcoholics Anonymous is that it works for anyone even me. When I first came in I didn’t think it would work for me because I was so young.
I thought that life in Alcoholics Anonymous would be boring, with three meetings a week and the rest spent at home in front of the TV. I did not think I could go out and enjoy myself. I was very mistaken. I have had the best nights out since being sober with people in AA and friends outside of AA. I have great fun in Alcoholics Anonymous, with girls nights in and out, meeting for coffee, playing netball, going to the cinema and much more.
Alcoholics Anonymous is at the centre of my life now and the rest just fits in. I no longer crave a drink as AA has given me a spiritual defence against that first drink. I do not wake up with that fear and remorse. I am now able to do service at my home group and grow spiritually one day at a time. This is all down to AA, my Higher Power and my home group.
Amy, Road to Recovery, Plymouth, July 2013