AA Saved my Life
When I arrived in AA I was absolutely broken. I was trapped in alcoholism which I know today is a disease that centres in the mind. I heard the solution: twelve steps, basic text and get a sponsor. I was asked if i would go to any lengths and my exact words were "I would walk Kilimanjaro". I was attending meetings, doing service as greeter, i really enjoyad it. I was willing and still am today. My sponsor took me through the steps when she thought I was ready and I was relieved to start working them, it felt like it was my last chance. I had tried everything and nothing worked like this. I could see things changing as I allowed this process despite my own thinking. Slowly I was getting there. I did steps one, two and three. For three I got on my knees with my sponsor. Change after change came. My outlook and thinking changed.
I started working on step four – a fearless and moral inventory. I balked a few times but my sponsor kept pointing me in the right direction, back towards getting my inventory done and the big book. A few times I showed my inventory to my sponsor saying I had finish. She gave it back to me and I went on to look at it again, getting down all my defects like dishonesty, pride, jealousy, self pity, etc. Surprise surprise, she was right – I had not finished it. So I got it done and I took it to her again, and she suggested I look at it over one week and take a bit of quiet time. Then the time came – we went up on the Hoe and sat down and I read it out to my sponsor and higher power (which I call God today, of my own understanding). And after a long nine hours – but the best nine hours – she said I was an average alcoholic. The weight just fell off like a tonne of bricks after carrying a lifetime of baggage. I was doing cartwheels.
I know now I have had a spiritual experience, which was my first gift. To keep it alive and me alive i have to do tradition five on a daily basis – carry the message to the alcoholic who still suffers – this is my primary purpose. I am so grateful for AA and my family is. Also for my home group Road to Recovery and my fellows and a good strong sponsor and old timers. I am grateful to newcomers also. It as saved my life and my family and I can now help others and get freedom from alcoholism which kills me. I do service in and out side of my home group. And to see it work in others is amazing. Lives change really quickly. It is amazing – the twelve step program works in my life inside and outside of AA. This is a contiual process which works in my life daily. Thanks to the Road to Recovery of Alcoholics Anonymous, thanks for saving my life.
Diana L., Plymouth Road to Recovery, July 2012