Gratitude for Alcoholics Anonymous
I regularly experience great waves of gratitude these days for the new life I have been freely given by Alcoholics Anonymous. I am so grateful that I can deal with difficult, uncomfortable or painful situations with dignity and wisdom, whereas before, I would have been completely unable to cope and would take a drink to calm me down. This inevitably led to many more drinks as I sought oblivion to avoid having to take any responsibility for anything!
This uncontrolled drinking lasted for 30 years and it is a miracle that I managed to work and produce 3 children who were not taken into care or physically damaged by my irresponsible behaviour. I cannot put my hand on my heart and say that they have not been damaged emotionally because I am sure they have, and thank God
I can be there for them now and give them the love and support I was unable to provide when I was drinking. My amends to them and the rest of my family will last for the rest of my life.
I am so grateful that when I crawled into an AA meeting just over 5 years ago, I was desperate for a solution to the utter despair and self hatred I felt as a result of my drinking. And thank God I heard a clear message of recovery in that group. I was told without reservation that I need never feel the way I did again, providing I was willing to do some simple suggestions, be honest and accountable to one other person and take the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous fearlessly and thoroughly.
As a result of my desperation, the strong, clear message I heard at my first meeting and the willingness to do this to the best of my ability, I have been given a way of life and a peace and contentment that I never knew existed. By working through the 12 Steps, I have experienced a ‘Spiritual Awakening’ or a change of thought and attitude that is so complete that I am now able to live a productive, normal life that gives me pleasure!! Life was never enjoyable when I was drinking; it was a chore that had to be endured until I died. How dare I not be grateful for being given a new chance at this blessed life.
I do not think about alcohol and it is not an issue in my life. I have been placed in a safe position of neutrality, and providing I continue to put AA first and practice the principles of AA in all my affairs I know that I can continue to experience the happiness, contentment and peace of mind that I feel today.
The promises contained in the Big Book have become facts for me and I feel as though my life started when I came into AA. The gratitude I feel as I write this is overwhelming and I pray that I never start to take these blessings for granted or think that they have come to me through my own doing. Everything I am and everything
I have is because of Alcoholics Anonymous, and for that I am eternally grateful.
Alison, Road to Recovery Group, Plymouth – May 2013