My Step Ten
Ever since I was a kid I seemed to be always full of resentment and anger. My dad was always working away, so my mum was left to bring us up. I always felt that everyone was better than I was and always had better things than I did. My mum has always been a heavy drinker and never seemed to be without drink, she was either down the local pub or at home drinking, so I guess I had no one to talk to. So at the age of 13/14 I picked up a drink and instantly brought my relief and things just weren’t that bad anymore. But when I wasn’t drinking all my problems would come back to haunt me so I would pick up the drink again and there I carried on drinking.
I was always an angry and resentful person and never knew how to deal with those problems, I lost jobs, partners, friends, homes and very nearly my son. Until I came to AA and then I started to learn that I was suffering from an illness which required action and that was taking the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. Step 10 taught me how to deal with my resentments and it is such a gift what step 10 has taught me. I can look at the reason, look at my defects of character and write them down and that gives me instant relief. I don’t dwell on them, however small or big the problems are anymore. My life has totally changed today and I can live happily and contented as long as I keep working my program and sticking in the middle of Alcoholics Anonymous.
T.N., Road to Recovery Group, Plymouth