Step 10, Again and Again
Thinking its time to write another share article, the precepts of AA and the spiritual path state that “its better to give than receive”.
I gather resentments like a magnet on iron fillings, end up so badly porcupined I can barely see where I’m going. The “pay back time”s putrefy into self pity and depression, the forecast becomes gloom and hopelessness. Still pride and sloth stand between me and my paper and pen like two truculent bouncers, until..”I GIVE IN!! HELP!!!”
My higher power must be a scholar, He relates to quill and parchment in a way He doesn’t to just mental prayer and petition. Immediately the relief comes, just deciding to take the action, the humility, the best way I can get Gods’ grace as a peculiar alcoholic.
First the left hand side, get that complete. Sometimes stuff/issues/people that I forgot to put on my Step 4 pops up, often the usual suspects – keep chipping away. Rattle out the right side, maybe pause for some divine intervention..what’s’ missing? I’ve gotten into the habit of adding extra shortfalls such as “lack of gratitude” or “anger”, finding these help to glue the whole picture together at times.
Complete. On the knees. Contrition, willingness, hold up my arms and physically surrender the whole mush up. Without fail..every time, my perspective has changed and life is serene with hope and flavour once more. God restores me to sanity.
Sean, Road to Recovery Group, Plymouth