‘I Thought I was Lost Forever’
When I walked into Alcoholics Anonymous I was an atheist; a non-believer. Seeing the word God repeated throughout the twelve step recovery programme I thought that I was forever lost. I liked so much what you told me about alcoholism. After the meeting I talked in depth with someone about the recovery programme and its availability to me. Willing and open-minded, I began to put in some actions that I was yet to understand and believe in and made a start. Soon, I took step three, using the power of the group as a power greater than myself.
Once I had completed steps four, five, six and seven my scope had widened. The word ‘creator’ appealed more as my belief grew. Something was doing for me what I could not do for myself. I was beginning to have a spiritual experience. When writing a step eight and thoroughly looking at how I had hurt the people I had passed through my life, I felt a strong shift in my mentality. I was changing at my root level, my psyche; my outlook, behaviour, thoughts and attitudes. When I began to make some amends in step 9, this only grew.
A year on, with ever increasing enthusiasm for recovery, I try to practise all of the principles of Alcoholics Anonymous in all my affairs to the best of my ability. I try and be the best person I can be one day at a time and to continue to maintain a fit spiritual condition through steps ten, eleven and twelve. With a certain simple attitude, over time, a more deep and meaningful spiritual contact and belief has been established.
Today, I am not only comfortable with the word God, but am enjoying a relationship with Him. I am no longer afraid, confused nor ashamed of my beliefs. I am convinced that God has entered my heart in a way which is indeed miraculous. Quite when and how this happened, I’m not sure exactly, but I’m grateful all the same. Only after a short period of time I have these convictions. All from someone who was desperate to just stop drinking. I have found so much more.
Not only have I been placed in a position of neutrality regarding alcohol, I have been rocketed into a fourth dimension of existence. This has happened simply by letting go of my old ideas, being willing and open minded, following someone who has gone before me and by taking the actions of Alcoholics Anonymous.